A Note For My Students
It’s recently come to my attention that some of my former, and perhaps current, students have managed to uncover this blog and all of the somewhat boring and infinitely melodramatic stories contained therein.
Once I got over the initial awkwardness (there is truly nothing like a bunch of fourteen year-olds pelleting you with questions and giggles about your vasectomy) and determined exactly how this breach took place (phone number to defunct SnapChat account to active Instagram account to Medium…they definitely worked for it), I needed to make a call as to how I wanted to move forward.
Do I change the name? Do I delete the posts? Do I email all of their parents and get them in trouble for being totally normal adolescents in the digital age? Do I pretend it didn’t happen and just move on as they have all likely done once the initial fun of seeing a side of their teacher not normally seen subsided?
I ultimately decided to do what (in my not at all humble opinion) I tend to do best: try to teach them something.
EVERY WORD FROM THIS POINT FORWARD IS DIRECTED TOWARDS THEM…
Hi Kiddos — welcome! So you’ve found my little online tome filled with random non-sequitors and insecurities! I’ll admit, part of me is proud of the ingenuity it took for you to make it here. I’m also proud that you were able to read some of these posts and A) understand them, and B) not vomit. Good job! A for effort.
You likely have a lot of questions, so let’s dive in!
Q: Did you really think we wouldn’t find this page?
A: Well, I had hoped not, but you were born online so perhaps that was idealistic.
Q: Lol you wrote a whole post about your vasectomy and we ALL READ IT.
A: That’s not a question, and great! Men’s health is an important topic that a lot of men do not like to talk about — which is why I wrote that post in the first place. As your sometimes health teacher, I am happy to talk more with you.
Q: Why are your posts sooooo looooonnnggggg?
A: I have a lot to say and I’m bad at editing myself.
Q: But don’t you teach us how to edit ourselves?
A: Don’t sass me. My boat, my rules.
Q: You swear in your posts. Does that mean we can swear in class?
A: It sure doesn’t! School is where we learn, and learning requires language worthy of the importance of the task. Swearing and toilet humor has its proper place and time, but the classroom is not it.
Q: Are you really okay with us reading this stuff?
A: Okay is a relative term since there isn’t much I can do about it now. I wouldn’t have put something on the internet if I wasn’t okay with it being read, even (especially) by my students. Just like you have elements of your life that you only show outside of school, the same is true for your teachers and this blog is part of my identity that doesn’t necessarily have a place in my work. But it’s an important part of me regardless, and I stand by everything I’ve written (much like I encourage you to stand by your work). The one thing I ask, if you do read, is that you try to learn something and that you ask questions as much as you can.
